To My Last Baby…

To My Last Baby, 

I knew the day I saw those two pink lines, you were my last and to say that didn’t change a few things would be a lie. 

You helped me see the beauty in the changes to my body. You helped me realize that while pregnancy isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, it is a testament on how amazing our bodies are and that we are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. 

Your first flutters brought tears to my eyes, because in that moment it all became real. Each of your firsts, would be my lasts. Feeling you grow inside me, and eventually watching you move, trying to guess if it was your arm, leg, hand or foot, was seen through new eyes. 

Your first cry, was music to my ears. I shed tears of joy and sadness. Joy for the fact my family was now complete and sadness for knowing in that moment I would never experience the miracle of childbirth again.

You eased my fears of not being enough. Before you, I always questioned how I could love someone as much as I loved your sister. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that was never a question, and the love you show me each day confirms that even more. 

Your first laugh felt surreal. It was a glimpse into your growing personality, while also providing the piece of mind I had been unknowingly searching for. That one little laugh confirmed what I already knew, you were meant to be my last.

You helped me find my confidence as a mom. Before you, I always questioned if I was doing things right. Watching you and your sister interact, I know I am.

You helped me learn a new level of appreciation. With your sister, I was always anticipating the next milestone, as it was new and exciting. With you, I am cherishing each one as they come, hoping and praying they will all last a little longer. 

Your first steps broke my heart, while somehow making it swell with so much pride. Those steps were your first move toward true independence and away from being my baby.  

So each night, I will hold you even after you’re asleep, and cherish the way you fit in my arms because the days are never long enough and time is not on our side. You will continue to grow, in both size and personality, and I will forever be thankful for the opportunity to be your mom with the knowledge loving of you as my last. 

Love you,  

Momma 

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